Loverly

Dr. Chantilis said my uterus was "lovely...just lovely and the way it should be" and that I was "one of the best candidates he's ever seen." Well, pin a rose on my nose...er, um, womb? Gimme something cause this babymaker's rocking!! :) The hysteroscopy went well and we got some blood drawn. The flight to Dallas was fine and the flight back wasn't too shabby either, if a little on the long side due to some thunderstorms. We flew around it via the air over San Antonio and made our arrival safe and 1 hour late. Two wrong turns later, I was stuck in Houston traffic for about 15 mins. but the Highway out of Houston wasn't too congested so I made it home in no time and proceeded to wait at CVS for 30 mins in line before finding out my Rx hadn't been called in yet. Poop. I headed home to await our company and then the nurse called and said she had called in my Rx and I could get it tomorrow. (I have to take an antibiotic for the hoo-hoo wand they stuck up inside of me). Dang! I should've asked for pictures! Oh well. It's interesting to see your insides...or "your junk" as my IM likes to call it! haha. (And yes, I'm calling her my IM because we're working on icky, but necessary, contracts!!!!! YAY!! Yes, yes, I've already got a lawyer picked out...No, really this time!) Anyhoo, they put a camera up in your goods and the doc said everything was just loverly. He didn't sing it like Eliza did, but in my head, I hummed the rest of the appointment.

On to the next step. Al has to get bloodwork drawn to make sure he's not part werewolf or something and starting next cycle, I get on the pill and do a mock cycle and then I should start Lupron around the 3rd week of June and egg retreival from the Egg Donor (ED) should be around the 28th of JULY (not June-thanks Heather). This clinic does 5 day embryos so I'll likely transfer around the 3-4th of August!!! What a great month to get knocked up! (It's my birthday month). A Big Fat Positive (BFP) is all I want for my birthday this year!!! (unless you're Al and reading this....in that case, I want a Kindle-is it too much to ask for a pink one?)

Before we can go through that, we've gotta get contracts in place. We all know what significance I place in contracts now, so that will take some time to make sure I'm good and ready to sign before I put pen to paper. Given that I've actually gotten to talk to the IM and ask her lots and lots of question, I expect this part will go a lot more smoothly.

On to my IPs...they've given me the green light to share a little about them. Woohoo! Introducing......E&J, my IM & IF. We're doing a webcam call tomorrow night. Sadly, Al will be watching the 'stros lose. Haha. So, we'll have to do it again another day so he can partake, but the kids and I will be ready to video chat with our new IPs. They are in New Mexico, but IF is from Austin so it's okay, they're part Texan. *grin* They have had a little over a 2 year journey so far and it's their time to shine. The plan is to meet them at transfer and then IF will likely attend as many of the appointments with me as he can as this will be the first child for him. I'm so excited! Everytime I talk to IM, it just re-affirms my decision to proceed on with this couple. I feel really good about it all. (I am still feeling little pangs of guilt at not being able to continue with the first couple, but I need to keep reminding myself that they'll find the right surro and it'll happen for them too...if a cow can have 4 stomachs, how come I can't have four loverly uteri?)

So, I'm one step closer to being a surro. It's really happening y'all! :) My dream's coming true.

If You're Ever Down in Dallas...

So, the lyrics don't fit the situation this time, but I AM going to Dallas! I spoke with a new set of IPs over the weekend (well, really just the IM) and while we were just chatting to feel things out, we really hit it off! We're going on to the next step of me going to the clinic to see if the RE (Reproductive Endocronologist) will work with me and doing a hysteroscopy to see if I am a good home for some little embryos. I'm really excited and hoping that it all works out. I already know that I have to lose a minimum of 10 lbs. to work with this clinic. Ideally, they want me to lose 25 (and I want me to lose 25 too! Everybody wins!) So, I really need to kick up the cardio and burn some fat. To the gym, to the gym to the gym I go...

Anyway, I fly to Love Field in Dallas tomorrow morning, hail a cab, do my appointment, hail another cab, grab some lunch (at the airport, I guess?) and then fly back to Houston by 3:30.

I'll fly up there for the transfer, too, if it all works out well but I'll be staying for a little while. I'm hoping my BFF can come up there with me since she's done with school for the moment. It'll depend on when we would transfer :)

Everybody Hurts

For the past few months, I've been reading blogs of other SM's experiences and researched how to become a surrogate, what the process entails, how to pick an agency, how to pore over contracts and scrutinize details. I've read posts on message boards describing the best way to give injections and learned words like "betas," "blastocycts," "chemical pregnancies," and "progesterone ethyl oleate."

One thing I hadn't done much of, until last week, was read blogs of IPs. Let me explain a little. I've known for quite some time that I wanted to experience being a surrogate for someone. I knew I wanted to help a couple that had faced the hard realization of not being able to carry their own child. I know this is something that one does not accept easily and while the knowledge that you can still have your own child is comforting, I imagine it cannot erase the pain that many people/couples go through before turning to surrogacy. All of the stories I've come across have been sad, but some of them are just heart-wrenching. They have me in tears wondering why pregnancy is so easy and under-appreciated for some and why it is so terribly painstaking for others. People who want a baby so badly they can taste it, smell it, dream it...I love my babies with every ounce of me. I have my bad days when I am dreadfully human and I lose my patience, and now I think about how patient my IPs have been in wanting this baby (they even waited a few months so I could transfer when it worked for my schedule/body/workplace). I have times when I get upset at having to clean the kitchen floor for the third time in an evening, and now I think about the frustration my IPs have had to face. I think about how sad I get when my children don't get along with each other, and now I think about people who want children so badly, they'd feel lucky to break up a sibling spat. The things I feel are all normal, parental feelings and I don't feel wrong or badly for having them. What I am thankful for is a new perspective at the joy I feel at being blessed with my life. If I can thank surrogacy for one more thing, it would be for reminding me how much more precious these days I have with my children are. I want to make my IPs' longing go away. I want to give them a baby (or babies) to fill up that space in their hearts. I want them to experience every part of being a mommy and daddy, good and bad. Most of all, I want to make their hurts go away. I already knew how important my role is to the success of this surrogacy, but this reaffirms the magnitude of the thing we are trying to accomplish. So many people play their parts in this process and I will do whatever it takes to get mine right. Bring on the needles. :)

You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)

I have a headache and felt a little dizzy yesterday...today is day 2 without Caffiene, which is not an accomplishment yet, but it is the start of one. :) The light-headedness is more from me trying not to eat many calories, but I definitely dipped way too low so I had to skip my workout for fear of passing out. Not healthy...what was I thinking...I need to lower it by cutting out the crap. I did have a great meal yesterday (chicken breast w/seasonings, no butter or oil and a salad and fruit) but not nearly enough of it. Okay, lesson learned.

In other news...Mrs. Coordinator picks up contracts today!! :) The IPs had to sign the revised contract too, so hopefully that's not too big of an inconvenience, but at least we're all happy with the wording now, right? Surely everything will be in place so I can keep my appt. on Thursday...you don't want to do any testing, appts., etc. without a signed contract in place or you could get stuck with the bills if the other party changes their minds. I don't foresee any snags.



We have a wedding reception to go to this weekend. I was hoping I'd fit into my dress that I wore on this cruise a few years back but it's still just a little too snug. I need to remind myself that I'm only 2 mths post-partum & post surgery so it's going to take time. I met with the trainer for the first of the 4 sessions that A got me. We spent a lot of time talking about what should go into my daily diet and how to get the max out of my cardio sessions. Good stuff.

So, for now, there's not much to report regarding the surrogacy. I'm guessing that once we get contracts signed, we will start communicating more with the IPs? I'm at least hoping that's the case. I'd really like to get to know them more and for them to get to know my family. I think you can still be close without getting matching BFFs necklaces so I'm not looking for a new best friend; but this process is intimate. They will know everything about me. I will be carrying part of them and helping them grow the life they created. This won't be my child, but it will be my pregnancy and I want to be able to share everything about it with them. I think this is one of the most important parts of the surrogacy, for me: establishing the relationship.