Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Not Fair

Posting twice in one day may be a blogger's faux pas, but I'm prepared to deal with any consequences as the other was more of a "shout-out" than a real post.

A lot has changed in our little journey! The former ED had to be pulled off of the donor list for some personal reasons and IM called me, a little shaky in voice, and my heart immediately fell for her and my IF. "Not Fair! Not Fair! Not Fair!!!!!!" is what I wanted to scream out, but if infertility can teach you anything, it's how to get used to life not being fair. I won't claim to know what it feels like, but after hearing many stories of why couples are left with the choice of surrogacy, it does scream out that it is a difficult path and one that is still relatively new as far as modern science goes. Agree with it or not (and if you disagree, I honestly couldn't care less. Just saying), there is no denying the complexity of ART. Add in an ED, a SM and that little thing called "Life" and you need quite the lining of the stars for everything to go "right" the first time!

IM had some big decisions to make and was, thankfully, able to find an ED that she is thrilled about. (Stars aligning!) We now have a tentative transfer date of October thirdfourthfifthish....remember that uncertainty I told you about? :) Yeah, that gives us a three day window or so. I should be heading to Dallas the first week in October to transfer! It feels great to have a new target date and this allows me to get past my birthday, Rachel's first day (and few weeks) of school, and my grandparents' 55th wedding anniversary. (Awww, Al, I can't wait until that's us!) I would've been ecstatic had we been able to keep the original date, but there's not much to do about that except embrace change and it's going to be great. This time next year, we won't even remember the delays!

On a NSR (not surrogacy related) note, my baby starts school in 12 days!!!! I am going to be a bawling mess!!!! I'm going to try and refrain from crying (she's so independent and cannot wait to go to school!) as I don't want to upset her, but how can it be that my tiny little girl is walking into that big school all by herself!?!? I loved school as a kid. I loved the smells, the new clothes and supplies and the excitement of making new friends every year. I hope my darling girl has the same experience I had.


Heidi said...

so thrilled for you! Sounds like everything is working out just as it should. oh, and on the kindergarten front...deep breaths mama! It's a tough one!

MrsKnight said...

My heart goes out to those IPs everywhere who have tried and tried, and then their dates fall through... etc. I can't imagine.

Is kindergarten a half-day? My oldest is going into 2nd grade and I STILL worry about her at school. Is she behaving? Is it fun for her? etc.

Egg Donation Agency said...

There is a Chinese proverb that says adversity doesn't throw you into deep waters to drown you, but to cleanse you.
I don't know about that - but I know for sure that viewing things from this perspective can help to make the most out of a difficult and unfair situation.

TXSurromom said...

Heidi-Thanks! It's bittersweet, I'm so glad she gets to go, but it's such a big girl moment! :) I joined the PTO board and signed up for some committees. My FIL works for the school district too, so he said he'll be popping in on her! haha

Mrs. Knight-I know! They've had a lot of disappointment, but it's nice that some things are starting to work out for them! :)

EDA-that's a great thought. Thank you for sharing!! :)

Heather said...

Everything is falling into place where it needs to be for you all to have the PERFECT journey!!! I have more time to get you that box that has been sitting on my couch for a VERY long time. :-)

MyLifeMyWorld said...

Hey there I stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to wish you good luck with your cycle! Hope you don't mind me following along.

Anonymous said...

Just started reading your blog and it's great! Looking forward to following your journey....Joy

TXSurromom said...

Thanks for reading!! :) I appreciate it! :D