Tuesday, November 8, 2011

19 days ago...

a precious baby girl came into the world. I cannot believe how quickly that flew by. Maybe it's because I had Fall Festival to help with and 3 kids and a husband back at home waiting on me to fill my Super Mom shoes again. Life has been insanely busy since the day I delivered. I'm talking Pumpkin Patch pictures, dinners with friends and family, PTO work, working out, a Halloween party getting back to work full-time, trick-or-treating, sick kids, sick mommy, birthday parties, cookie dough pick up, a wedding, a spa day (okay, so that wasn't hard work!) etc. I think I was trying to fit everything into these last 2 weeks to make up for the little bit of time I was on bed rest and at the hospital. So, for about a week, I was go, go, go and then the 2nd week I was sort of a bump on a log because I think I had done too much the week before. I think I found a happy balance now and have backed off a bit. My house is a little worse for the wear, but I am trying to cut myself some slack since it hasn't even been 3 weeks since I pushed a little human into the world.

Speaking of that little human, here are some long-awaited photos!! I finally remembered to ask IM if I could post them! These are from the hospital so forgive my puffiness. I lost 18 lbs. in 8 days and I'm sure that was almost all fluid from being swollen!

As far as how I am feeling, I will be completely honest and say that I feel pretty amazing. I had a couple of days where I felt a little down. It's so very hard to explain it because people automatically assume you regret "giving the baby up" or that you miss the baby or something. Sure, I miss her tiny kicks but I am so happy that she is where she belongs. I cannot tell you how much I do not want to bring another baby home and how happy I am that she is with her family. Remember, I gave her back, not up! :) The "down" part is just the feeling you get after coming off an emotional high. For 16 months, I had this goal of helping to bring a healthy baby into the world. It wasn't all I was; I was still a mom and wife and friend, etc., but it was a large part of my life and when it's over, it's kind of bittersweet. So, that's the feeling I had for a couple of days, but I was still overwhelmingly happy.

I am lucky to get texts, emails, phone calls, pictures and updates almost daily (even now!) from my IPs. They are so very loving and they share so much with me. I love seeing their faces and hearing about their milestones with her. All of it fills my heart up with joy and a little bit of pride too. It's a good feeling to know you helped. I look at my own children and feel that joy of being a parent and can live knowing that I helped someone else feel that.

Incidentally, it's my oldest's 7th birthday today. Happy birthday, Rach!!! Mommy loves you!!!


Krystal said...

You did a wonderful job and she is beautiful! I COMPLETELY understand wanting to "go, go, go", that's what I've been doing since I had Baby L and it hasn't even been 3 weeks yet either! It's a little hard to adjust to the thinking that you just had a baby when there's no baby to care for! And I've had those emotional days too, you're not alone. Heck, I still have random moments right now, but it's normal and will subside.
Just know you did an amazing thing for someone and you're a ROCK STAR! :)

whitney said...

love the pics!!

Michael said...

Your posting is wonderful and honest and sweet. The pictures are beautiful too. Thanks for sharing.

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