Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Little Q&A, not to be confused with T&A!

Since finding out about the surrogacy, a lot of people have posed questions to me. Some are funny, some are rude and some are down right out there. I think every surro-blogging sister of mine has a Q&A of sorts with the crazy questions she gets. I don't get offended by questions because I try and remember that most people know nothing about surrogacy and it's such a different thing than they've ever encountered. So, I try and answer them as best as I can. If there are any you would like answered, please feel free to post them in the comments section! :) I, or likely any surro that follows this thread, would be happy to answer them.

  1. If it is twins, do you get to keep one? If the answer to this one was "yes," I would've bowed out before it started. We would never keep someone else's baby just like we would never go into your house and steal your child and we would never babysit for someone and say, "Looks like you got your hands full there; do you just want us to keep this one?" So the answer is no. We don't want to keep the baby(ies) nor are we allowed to, thank God. :)
  2. Is this how you're going to make a living from now on? I'm going to stick with the "no" answer again for a few reasons. One, I do not make enough from surrogacy to live on (it's like $2.23/hr if you want to look at it that way). Second, a surrogacy "paycheck" is not guaranteed and should not be used to change your lifestyle. At best, it is about a year of your time and please don't mistake this for resentment. I am very appreciative of the compensation and what it means for my family, but it is not the life-changing amount people think it is. You can easily Google how much a first time surrogate can make and get an average, so I won't spell out my comp. amount here. Suffice it to say that although I am good at having babies, it's more of a hobby than a career goal. :)
  3. What will you tell your kids? We spoke to our 6 yr old about this long before and our 4 year too, but he wasn't too interested. Rach understands that mommy is growing a baby for E&J because E's tummy is sick. Since babies are put into mommies by God (as that is how it goes at our house, feel free to comment but I won't debate that with you) then God is going to put the baby in our tummy to grow and I will take care of it for E. That's what she knows and she is excited about it. So excited that she told someone the other day, "My mommy's having a baby and she's giving it away!" We quickly revisited that topic and set her straight. :)
  4. Won't it be hard to give up the baby? Won't you get attached? This is a question that either makes me feel like I have no soul or that I'm heartless but I know it crosses everyone's mind, so I will explain my feelings. Going into this, I knew that any baby(ies) created would be no more mine than a best friend leaving their dog with me while they are vacation becomes mine. This baby is not mine. Do I get to feel it grow, care for its health and feel it move? Yes. And those things will be amazing. They will be wonderful and I feel privileged that my IPs picked me to do this for them. It still does not make it my baby. As far as the attachment, I love my nieces and nephews fiercely. I would catch a grenade for them (thank you, Bruno Mars)...but would I ever contemplate keeping them when my sister(in-law) or brother(in-law) drops them off? Never. They are not mine. Just because I may care for this/these child(ren), doesn't mean I would feel like they were mine to keep. I hope that helps explain it a bit. Also, it's super illegal to boot! :) And lastly, our hands are full with OUR three babies! Why would I bring someone else's home?? :)
  5. Do you know the couple? Well I should hope so! I'm carrying their baby(ies) aren't I? :) But seriously folks...I obviously know them now, but what you're getting at is, did I know them before the surrogacy? No. E and I talked in May of last year and we clicked but we were not aquainted before then. We met through classified ads on a website and "matched." We were looking for the same things, agreed on the "big" issues and decided to start working together. I'm so glad we did.

So, that's it for now. Feel free to send me other questions that pop up. :)

OH!! Their pictures! How did I forget to put this up?? Here are the babies' first pics! :)


Juli said...

I think your best friend learned a long time ago that it might not be in the best interest of the dog to have you take care of it. LOL :)

TXSurromom said...

LOL, thankfully, I do much better with children! :)