There is nothing quite like sitting in the Emergency Room, puffy-eyed with tears and worry decorating your face and waiting for the doctor that will tell you if your dreams will continue or if something terrible has happened.
Thursday night, we had a bit of a scare. Don't worry, things are okay, but it was a long night. I had just taken a shower and laid down to read when I felt a gush of fluid. I reached down and my pajamas were soaked in blood. I immediately start to cry, grab a pad and call anyone and everyone I could think of that would help me figure out what to do. Logically, I knew that if I was miscarrying, there was nothing I could do, but trying explaining that to a heart. A million thoughts rushed through my head with the worst being, "How will I tell E&J?" I decided not to call them until I had some sort of news. I didn't know how the night would end and I had nothing but worry to share at that moment, and I thought that I could at least protect them from that. My kids were in bed and I knew I didn't want to expose them to everything up at the ER. I wasn't even sure if they would do anything and I hated for my whole family to have a long night, so I drove myself. I texted a couple of friends and asked for prayers. If you'll recall, I met a local surrogate, Jennifer, for coffee one night where she offered to stab me in the hiney with a large needle even before meeting me face-to-face. Well, on our second meeting, she literally walked into the dismal ER waiting room and gave me a hug that I so badly needed and figuratively held my hand through the next hour or so while I waited to be seen.
I will say that the hospital down here is not known for its swift action. That night, however, a nurse must've taken pity on me because not only did she make the ultrasound tech stick around, she also took such good care of me and got me back quickly, even though it was the end of what was probably a very long shift. I am so thankful for that. The ultrasound tech took me back and started the ultrasound. I was 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant with twins. Yes, you read that right, we are pregnant with twins!! She checked for any signs of miscarriage and found none. What she did find was a heartbeat on baby A, a gestational sac measuring 6 weeks, 3 days and a fetus measuring 6 weeks with a heartbeat of 117 (perfect). As for the other sac, she measured it to be 5 weeks, 5 days and while she couldn't grab the heartbeat on that one (it is still extremely early to see heartbeats at all and this one is a few days behind the other, developmentally, but this is common), she did see a yolk sac and part of the baby, but it was up against the wall of the uterus and the machine was ancient and grainy. We feel confident we'll see the heartbeats on Wednesday.
Thankfully, our bleeding stopped that night and the cramping subsided the next day after I took some time off and rested. I still feel nauseated and tired so my hope is that this was a tiny bump in the road and the rest of the journey will be smooth-sailing.
It was a bittersweet call to make to IM as I knew she would be worried/relieved/excited all in the same breath. I started the phone call with, "Everything's fine but..." and relayed the details. She was thankful that we were all okay and then it hit us all that they're having twins!!!! It is still all surreal. I've been on the net all weekend looking up the differences between singleton and multiples. Information has always been my friend.
So, if you find yourself with a few minutes, please send us a prayer or good thought that these babies, who are so very loved and wanted already, grow big (enough to be healthy!! and then they can stop! haha) and healthy and that we all stay safe.
In the blink of an eye...
4 days ago