Firework

Long time, no blog? I know, I know. I am not a superstitious person, per se, but I do get that ominous feeling that people get sometimes and am not above succumbing to some outside source of pressure to act as if my actions could somehow jinx the future. So, I cautiously post this in order to update you on the news of our upcoming transfer. :)

We're on!! I can feel the excitement bubbling at the edges of every part of me and I am thrilled to say that even despite a few little bumps in the road (Me not starting my stupid period on time and having to do an ultrasound and pregnancy test (Beta) to confirm there was no pregnancy-there wasn't, Lupron getting lost and having to literally use every last drop I had, ED having slightly elevated Estrogen levels that caused a small, but anxiety-causing delay) we are about 12 days away from our transfer date!!

The ED started her stimulation meds on Friday (21st) and I have been on Lupron and Estrogen. My ultrasound is tomorrow morning and they will check my lining to see if it is getting nice and thick. If it's not quite up to snuff, they will increase my Estrogen from twice a day to thrice per day. (I always wanted to use that word).

So, how am I feeling? Anxious, scared, excited, hopeful, happy, impatient! :) That about sums it up. I was lying in bed next to DH and I told him I was scared (of the needles). He said, "well, it's too late now!" and I lovingly explained, after I (jokingly) punched him, that I wasn't having second thoughts, but I WAS allowed to be scared. I reminded him of each of the times during the last days of our own pregnancies when I would turn to him and say, "I'm scared" and he would reply with his consistent "It's too late now." Of course, I wasn't expressing a desire to not labor and deliver, I was expressing my human reaction to the anticipation of pain and new beginnings. Silly boy. We've never made it this far in a cycle yet, so while I am scared when I think of the needles, I am almost excited about it because I'd like to kind of get it out of the way and know what it's going to be like already. Like any good student, I studied surrogacy and read blog after blog and post after post about injections; what they felt like, how to do them, the resulting lumps, bruises and pain and how to deal/prevent/lessen that. So, naturally, I came across some horror stories as well as some stories to give me courage and hope that I could overcome this needle thing. You'll remember my first Lupron injection and how I sweated that one out. It ended up being nothing and I'm even letting DH give them to me now (another phobia off the list!) It's always been the anticipation that I've feared. So, I am excited to be moving past that point shortly.

We will be heading to Dallas for the transfer and I'll get to see my wonderful IPs again. They are amazing people. If you see the fireworks going off over Dallas around the 5th, you'll know it's because a large amount of awesomeness has entered the city.